As I sat cross-legged seemingly relaxed, nodding and smiling along with my peers, I hoped the smell of McDonalds French Fries would disguise the stench of menstrual blood soaked wool. Grateful for the midnight-blue, long, tartan woollen kilt of a school-uniform that hid the blood stain, but there was no escaping the pool of blood left behind on the teal coloured padded McDonald’s seat. That of which I refused to stand up from, before anyone else had left.
A vivid memory of my 14yr old self, on just one of many occasions that I felt humiliated, ashamed, guilty and alone. I was an incredibly heavy teenage bleeder. Multiple towels laid down would not stop the blood flow sinking deep into the mattress. Mornings were woken with paranoia as I frantically jump out of bed to witness the damage of the night’s leakage.
Toilet paper, pads, tampons, jerseys tied around the waist. At an all-girls school one would think these ‘accidents’ were openly discussed and humiliation avoided. But it wasn’t. In biology class we may have discussed the menstrual cycle and reproduction,
...but never did the topic involve “when things go wrong”, or what was even considered ‘normal’ during the early menstruating years’.
As any regular boomer does, my mother sent me to the nurse who stabbed me with a DP* shot in my butt *(Depo-provera: hormonal medication). Who was then later advised (by a physic) against it and had brought the term ‘endometriosis’ to life. Thankfully this rerouted me to a Naturopath that instead, blended together a disgustingly potent concoction of herbal extracts and ordered me to take a daily shot of them for three months, of which I did religiously.
At some point the truth of my menstrual flow was then muddled with birth control as that’s just what “fertile girls need to be on”. Ten years later and a deep dive into naturopathic studies, I cleared myself from all synthetic hormones to finally meet a regular cycle. Life was flowing smoothly at 25yrs old.
That was until a healthy decision to prepare for motherhood was distorted by three consecutive miscarriages over a period of 3 years, leaving me once again feeling humiliated, ashamed, guilty and alone.
After multiple hospital visits, fertility clinics and many more tests, there were still no answers as to ‘why?’. Why does this happen?
Why does this happen to so many women, yet so many women feel so alone? What can be done to prevent miscarriages - according to conventional medicine: nothing. So in search of answers I returned to a Naturopath (as a naturopathic student myself, in need of guidance). And we found some answers: MTHFR gene polymorphism *(methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase mutation).
Specific supplementation and hormonal herbs were provided and within a few months I was yet again pregnant. Doubtful (as multiple miscarriages make you), but this pregnancy went on to be my first of three healthy babies.
Nearly 7 years on and my third postpartum period has finally returned after a lengthy 2.5yr absence (pregnancy + postpartum). And for the first time in my life, I have shifted my approach to my cycle... why do we expect our cycle to fit into our life, when our cycle is truely life itself?
Ever wonder why one week you make all the extroverted plans, only come party time and ‘cancel culture’ strikes again? You’re absolutely not alone.
The phases of the cycle all having a meaningful purpose and govern how we should live our life as the women of Mother Earth. But instead, there is resistance, neglect and often frustration over “those hormones again (eye roll)”.
If the cyclic phases were understood, your monthly schedule could reflect exactly what you needed at each given time - Business meetings and social meet-ups would be planned when you’re ovulating (most confident); projects and outings would be kept to a minimal when it’s time to shed, honouring the waves of reflection and restoration that is required.
Off a few beats? No problem, you know that the recent stressor in your life has influenced your cycle length, but that can easily be resolved with certain foods and some extra beach walks this week. You’re in a constant communication, with yourself, with your cycle, with life.
As I approach my 40's another transitional change lurks on the horizon. First the transition from childhood to adolescence, from fertility to motherhood, and soon the often feared peri-menopause, through to menopause and beyond. Yet, as my curiosity deepens about this shift and my desire for understanding continues, there’s one thing that I have found to be evident...
The perimenopausal transition is yet again, another time within a woman’s life where she can feel humiliated, ashamed, guilty and alone.
It is also a time in a woman’s life that is considered a “condition” and conventional medicine prefers to “fix” with HRT and anti-depressants (*Hormonal medication). The 1930's became the answer to all women’s needs with synethic oestrogen to treat this “deficiency disease”. Ultimately, the natural transitional stage from being fertile to sage is looked upon negatively, and again during the transition, women often feel alone with their symptoms.
What if the perspective changed? What if it became an honour to transition into menopause, aging gracefully and owning the changes that accompany the progress? Imagine if the changes are more subtle, and not suffered through - well, more and more research reveals that this is very much possible. A lot of it starts with being mindful and the way we eat.
Meditation, walks on the beach, and being in touch with your inner self. Communicating with yourself. Listening to life and responding where needed. Using food as medicine, the power of plants, gifts of the natural environment, and connecting with self.
Regaining the innate wisdom of body’s own intellect and simply listening, hearing and feeling her cues. The Truth. Less resistance. Peace, acceptance and unity. It’s all possible.
If this resonates with you, or someone you know get in touch. With upcoming workshops and seminars, in-person or online Naturopathic consultations, Cha Dao meditation and Reiki healing, you no longer need to suffer alone. Let me guide you to reconnecting with your cycle, finding your truth, and making the most out of your life.
With so much love, truth and gratitude to you,
Kim xx
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